Not For Anyone
by AngelisIgniRelucent
Summary: Kurt Hummel is that kid. You know, that kid. The one that everyone is fairly nice to, but when he's not there it's 'oh my god, he's so weird' and 'he's such a loner' and 'no one actually likes him'. Yeah, he's that kid. MER!BLAINE


**Ok, so Patricia Sage and I did that ~thing again, where we both wrote a fic with a similar theme (mer!klaine in this case) and we published them at the same time, so when you're done here, go and check out her's - it's called 'Aqua'!  
oh, and I have no idea if this even makes sense, so…**

_He watches. He stares up through the shimmering depths. He waits. And he yearns._

*o*o*

Kurt Hummel is that kid. You know, _that_ kid. The one that everyone is fairly nice to, but when he's not there it's _'oh my god, he's so weird' _and _'he's such a loner' _and _'no one actually likes him'. _Yeah, he's _that _kid. And you know the most tragic part about it? He knows it. He knows exactly what they say about him when he's not there, but when he shows up, he smiles and says _'what's up, guys?' _and they all smile in return.

That's why he prefers being alone.

He spends long hours just walking up and down the beach, leaving footprints in the sand and smiling to himself at how cheesy it is when he looks back at them … and how hard he wishes for there to be a matching set alongside them, perhaps a little bigger than his own.

The beach is deserted – it pretty much always is – it's really too cold for anyone but a few brave tourists to venture out at this time of year, and it seems none of them have the balls for it today. Kurt doesn't mind the cold. He just puts on his dad's worn jacket and walks anyway. No amount of cold can make him keep his shoes on when he gets to the beach, though. The feeling of the cool sand between his toes – that's part of the beauty. So is the stormy, dark sky, the angry, blue-grey sea … Kurt blinks. He thought he saw a flash of gold, but when he looks again it's just blue and grey – same as always. He sighs. It's comforting – how this place doesn't change like people do. It's what keeps Kurt grounded on those days where he feels like he could just float off. That, and the hope that maybe, someday soon, he might see a flash of gold again, and it won't be his eyes playing tricks on him … _there it is again! _He's almost certain of it this time, but he guards himself from believing just yet. He steps tentatively further along the pier, staring into the waves … _and a third time! _That's it.

"Blaine?" He blushes, clearing his throat. It was supposed to come out all strong and brave, but it sounded tentative and feeble, even to his own ears. "Blaine?" There, that's better. "Blaine, I know you're there – please, just-"  
"Yes?" And there he is, floating on his back, hands behind his head, eyes sparkling with mischief – as if nothing had happened. You notice he keeps his tail underwater though, so you only catch glimpses of shimmering gold through the waves. Gold and … something darker.  
"Blaine?" and Kurt's voice is back to weak and feeble again because _Blaine's really here, it's really him._  
"That's my name – don't wear it out," he replies with a wink and a charming smile. His smile still looks the same.  
"A-are you-" Kurt starts, before changing tack. "I missed you." His voice is soft.  
"I missed you," says Blaine in a voice to match, before it turns hard as nails. "And I'm _fine_."

Kurt winces.

"Sorry – I didn't mean …" his voice is apologetic.  
"No, _I'_m sorry – I didn't mean to snap. I'm just still a little … touchy about it I guess." Blaine's smile is well and truly gone, the defensive look in his eyes is making Kurt's heart ache.  
"I guess I never really got the chance to say," and Kurt lowers himself down so he's sitting on the end of the pier, bare feet just about brushing the surface of the water, "I-"  
"Can we not? Can we not do this right now? I just … I just want to …" and Blaine reaches his hand up towards Kurt. "I just want to _feel _you."

Kurt's throat closes at the look of vulnerability in Blaine's eyes, and he can do nothing but nod his head mutely before taking hold of Blaine's hand and slipping into the water, regardless of his clothing. They press their bodies close to each other, Kurt shivering into Blaine until his body heat warms him against the chill of the water. He runs his fingertips over Blaine's bare back, and Blaine hums contentedly.  
"I've missed this," he mumbles into Kurt's neck. Kurt agrees – so has he. He lets his fingers trail further down, a shiver running through both of them as they brush the edge of Blaine's scales. Blaine looks up, meeting Kurt's clear blue eyes with his own honey-gold ones and giving a little nod of acquiescence. He slowly brings his tail forward, allowing their lower halves to touch, Kurt's legs automatically entwining themselves around Blaine's smooth, strong appendage. He whimpers. He'd forgotten how good this could feel.

"Shh, shh, baby – I've got you," Kurt whispers into Blaine's hair, relishing in the scent of it – salty, but with an unmistakeable sweetness. He traces around Blaine's hips, stroking at where he knows he's most sensitive – the area of flesh just where the soft skin starts to dissolve into scales –

His eyebrows furrow as his digits come across something too hard to be skin, but not hard enough to be scales … and for some odd reason, he can't shake the feeling that he's felt something like it before, but he just can't place it. Until Blaine stiffens in his arms, his body jerking backwards, away from Kurt's prying touch. Oh.

Scar tissue.

"_Blaine!_" Kurt cries, his face crumpling, startled tears forming in his eyes. He doesn't realise that Blaine's let go of him until he's completely submerged, and even then, his mind is reeling – too out of control for him to remember little things like _breathing_. For a second he's gasping and choking, but then Blaine's there, and the next thing he knows, Kurt's lying on the pier coughing up what feels like half the sea. Ouch.

"Kurt? _Kurt? _Are you okay? Kurt, _breathe_! Don't you _ever _do that to me again, d'you hear me? I don't appreciate you nearly drowning! Oh, _Kurt,_" he sighs in relief as the water stops lurching out of his lungs and he starts to suck the air in, desperately.  
"Blaine?" he chokes out between gasps, "Blaine … please …"  
"Please what, baby? What is it?" Blaine asks frantically, using his forearms to hoist his body half out of the water, leaning on the pier. He makes a strangled little sound when he sees that the salt water on Kurt's face is more tears than sea.  
"Don't … don't ever … how long ago … was that?" Kurt blinks up at him, plaintive glasz eyes swimming. Oh. So this wasn't about the almost-drowning. This was about the … other … _thing_.  
"Ages ago," replies Blaine, and he tries to make his voice sound less cold, really he does, but his brain is still recovering from the panic, so he doesn't think it works as well as it should. "I haven't … not since I saw you …"  
"So it's been … almost a year now?"  
"Yeah. About that."  
"Wh- where have you been?" And Blaine feels his heart break all over again with Kurt's voice.  
"_Here_. Oh god, Kurt, I've been _here_, _watching _you, watching _out _for you-"  
"_Why didn't you answer me?!_" And Kurt doesn't care that he's yelling now. "I called out for you _every single day, praying _that you'd answer me, _praying _that you'd be there, and that everything would go back to the way it was-"  
"How could things go back to the way they were?" Blaine's voice, small and vulnerable, cuts off Kurt's tirade. "After what you-"  
"After what I said," he finishes, quietly. "You know I didn't mean-"  
"Yeah, I know." Blaine sounds tired. "Didn't make it hurt any less, though."  
"… _Sorry_."  
"I'm sorry too."  
"_You _have no reason to be! _I_'m sorry for practically _telling _you to _hack yourself up like a piece of meat-_" Kurt's throat closes around the words.  
"I meant I'm sorry for not speaking to you."  
"Oh." Kurt tries to blink away the tears, swallow away the lump in his throat. It doesn't work.  
"It took a while for it to scab over, but it's completely healed now," Blaine says, valiantly trying to fill the silence. Kurt winces. "There was an awkward few months where it would open up every time I moved – they had to keep me shut away – sharks or something …" he trails off when he sees Kurt flinch violently. "I'm okay now, though," he continues in a softer voice. "Really, I'm _fine_."

It's Kurt who breaks the silence this time.  
"Did they, uh … did they marry you off to that girl, then? Or …" Blaine lets out a bark of laughter.  
"God, I'd forgotten how much drama you've missed out on! No, no – I finally manned up and told Dad _exactly _where he could stick it!" They share a grin, pride lighting up Kurt's face. "I doubt she would've wanted to marry a cripple, anyway," Blaine continues, lightly. Kurt's fists clench.  
"How can you make it all into a joke?"  
"If I don't laugh about it, I'd _cry_. And laughing's more fun, don't you think? Hey, now," and he's reaching up to brush the tears from Kurt's face, where they're streaming in earnest now. "Come on, love, shh, shh," and he gently scoops Kurt back down into the water, safe in his arms. Kurt's tears abate a little, and he tangles his hands in Blaine's swift-drying curls.

"I-I love you," he says, phrasing it almost like a question, voice cracking on the first syllable. Kurt thinks Blaine's answering smile has enough watts to power the whole of New York City for a fortnight.  
"I love you too," he murmurs, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of Kurt's mouth.  
"Don't you _ever_ change yourself. Not for _anyone_," Kurt whispers fervently.  
"Never."

**Please review me and let me know if you kind of understood what was going on… :)  
aaaaand then go and read Patricia Sage's 'Aqua'**


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